Our company has been working in the matchmaking business for over 11 years. We had opportunity to see many couples that got together with our help and developed their relationship. We would like to suggest you to read the short notes below that would help you better understand your lady, her lifestyle and cultural background.
One of the biggest problems we see in relationships abroad.
When your lady comes to your country (North America, Europe or other), at first she is going to feel isolated- not understanding the language and not having her family around is what she will have to face at the beginning.
In her home she would take no more than 2 hours every other day doing some house work. When she sees your house she is going to be overwhelmed with the up keep of it. A lot of ladies in the city do not have a yard or a garage. They have one bathroom that everyone shares, 1 to 3 rooms and a kitchen. In most cases they have about 400 to 550 square feet. So, be patient. It will take her some time to adjust. Let's see some other cases that your spouse may face.
As you may be aware, communication in any relationships is very important.
Many times we find that ladies from Eastern Europe are very fast-learners as a rule, they learn words easily, but they don't understand meanings sometimes.
We know that it is an unusual request but we strongly encourage you to send her to English school as soon as possible.
Although there are schools in North America, Europe and other countries she must have some basic skills to understand better the schooling she will have there. This will help both of you to understand one another and to give her a much needed advantage arriving to her new home.
Many countries of Europe and especially North America have many cultures and many people from all over the world with different backgrounds.
Overtime we have learned to accept most of them. However, in Eastern Europe there is not so much diversity in their cultures. She will feel left out and out-of-place. Sometimes people may be rude to her and sometimes she will just feel that way.
In many Eastern European cultures people have become very accustomed to public transportation. They often walk to their local stores for shopping. Many ladies that you will meet in Eastern Europe have never needed to learn to drive.
When she comes to North America or Europe she will face a quite different lifestyle and some of these changes will be very hard for her. You will need to be patient to help her to overcome these difficulties.
Let' see a usual day of a lady about 30 years old who lives alone and who brings up a child:
She needs to get up early in the morning (about 6 AM), a usual working day starts at 8 AM there, she needs to cook breakfast for her and her child, she needs to take a shower and to wash clothes in a hurry. The reason is that in many towns and even cities the water supply is scheduled and limited.
She needs to take her child to school or kindergarten often times located 20 minutes traveling by bus or by subway from her home. After she goes to work that is often located an opposite direction.
Then after a usual 9 hour working day she needs to pick up her child and take him/her home. She arrives home about 6 or 7 PM. Then she needs to cook dinner, do some housekeeping, then she helps her child with his/her home work. Often times she does not have the opportunity to take care of herself.
When you become a couple she will have a different lifestyle. Of course though these changes will be for the better it won't be easy for her to get accustomed to them.
Even such simple tasks for you like running home appliances may be a problem for her at the beginning. That's where, we believe, you need to use all your kindness and patience to help her.
Now, this is the day she hopes to have:
She loves her child and the man she is sharing her life with. She gets both of them ready for work and school and prepares them for the day. She is willing to work and contributes to the house however she does not want to be the main breadwinner!
She has much more traditional values and believes that the man's responsibility is to be the main breadwinner and be the leader of the family. When you get her trust and love she will be your life partner and not your business partner like many relationships in North America or Europe.
We suggest you be honest and respectful in your correspondences and meetings with one another. You will find your relationship will grow and have more love and trust.
There is a lot of news in North America and Europe that is much more sensationalized than in other parts of the world. As she starts to understand the language better, she may feel that «the world may be coming to the end» . In Eastern Europe they get news but do not update it (or repeat it) over and over again. North Americans and Europeans have become accustomed to it. But, at first it will make her uncomfortable.
When she crosses the threshold of your home she hopes in her heart that you will be with her all of the time. She will need you supporting her in the most simple things strange for her. In this new world for her there are so many things that may confuse her and the only person by her side whom she trusts and may ask for a piece of advice is YOU. When she faces the fact that you are out to work for the largest period of the day she may not understand this. It is her former lifestyle and her former way of thinking that makes her wonder «Why does he have to work so much and so hard when we have such a large and beautiful house, such a wonderful garden and two cars» . Don't worry, and just explain the situation carefully to her– you will see that with time she will understand and accept it.
Your Lady has a child and you have a child. Both of you love, care and respect one another and you see a very happy family together. «And then you meet the children». In our experience many children in Eastern European countries as a rule are very well behaved. Their mothers are very attentive and very loving towards their children. But they also demand respect. Many times when families come together there are conflicts not only between the children but also between the parents and the children. We know this can be the most important and the most difficult part of your relationship. This is where she will need your support the most. Learn about her character and let her learn about yours. Communicate with one another and be as honest and genuine as possible. You both need to be leaders of the relationships, not the children.
This is a concern with all people moving to a foreign land. Your Lady will feel home sick from time to time and it will not be a lack of love toward you. Most of the time it will be simply her thoughts of the past. She has family and friends who she has known for her whole life. It is only natural that she will be missing them. Today with technology as advanced as it is there are many ways for her and her family to communicate. We suggest certainly at the beginning that you give her the freedom to call whenever she would like. «We are not suggesting letting her talk all day on the phone». By giving her this freedom it will give her some comfort hearing her family and also show confidence and trust in her. This will show you understand and care about her feelings.
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